For my 40th birthday, my then-9-year-old daughter gave me a little book of daily meditations for men, from the Touchstone series. She didn't realize, not did I until I read the preface, that it was for men in 12-step programs, working through their additions and coming to clarity about themselves and their worth.

For all that, it was humbling to realize that just about every piece of advice, every insight, and every affirmation in the book applied to me pretty much to a tee, despite the fact that I have never participated in a 12-step program and don't really consider myself an addict (not even to blogging, which was a worry of my wife's early on).

My practice is to take a minute a day to read that day's thought and meditation, and consider how I can go through my day in heightened awareness and kindness and joy and courage based on that reminder.

A Challenge from Dietrich

One day the meditation began with a quote by the Luther theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer (whose last name is pronounced as if U2's Bono had hooked up with J Lo), as follows:

There are things for which an uncompromising stance is worthwhile.

This is a guy, a German theologician, who decided to publish articles critical of the Nazis when they came to power in 1933, engaged in dangerous efforts to rescue Jews in the 1940s, and was killed by the Nazis in 1945. Possibly someone with an understanding of worthwhile causes and the toll they can take on a person.

I write mostly (in this blog, at least) about family health and fitness; what can parents learn and apply from a man whose life and death were so far removed from our mundane "Eat your vegetables" and "No, you can't have a cookie, how about a piece of fruit?" existence?

I've written many times about not turning the dinner table into a battleground. About being reasonable, understanding, and non-fanatical. About taking the slow road of education and leading by example. Turns out I have a hole in my memory the size of 6 months…

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Q: How do you convey to a child that you are not serving the food he wants right now because it is not healthy (ideally without becoming the meany he would think I was)? In this example, he wanted waffles (with lots of syrup) or pancakes or doughnuts. The child is already extremely obese. He is sensitive to his weight, so I sure wouldn't want to point out the connection about eating this and becoming even fatter, also to not make him feel bad about himself. I know when I want some dessert (that's what I call waffles and doughnuts), I wouldn't stop or even care now because of some consequences later. How do I get him to eat healthy without ruining our relationship or his self-esteem?

A: You're not going to like me for this answer. Keep Reading…

Golly gee, it's happened to me! My son, E, age 7, has turned into a pasta-craving picky eater. Fruits are fine, but bread products are preferred. Vegetables look to him like 4-inch hypodermic needles poised to pierce his skin. And everywhere we go, he notices the desserts. Life has become a never-ending negotiation about how much of this he has to eat before he gets some of that.

I tell you this not to brag (yeah, right), but so you will think, "Ha! Howie goes telling everyone else how to feed their kids and here he can't even do it right in his own home. What a fraud!"

No, wait. That's not right either. Keep Reading…

Weird night in Europe recently, according to the New York Times:

What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein.

According to Swiss daily Blick, the 170 infantry soldiers wandered just over a mile across an unmarked border into the tiny principality early Thursday before realizing their mistake and turning back.

Juxtaposed against that black comedy in the paper's Most Emailed list was the story of another kind of invasion: the nightly encroachment of the "family bed babies" into mommy and daddy's sheets and blankets. For some reason, the article relates, the 1990s were the dawn of the co-sleeping era, when exhausted parents bought a few hours of sleep by sharing their beds, their warmth, and their heartbeats with their babies. The price - no more sex for the parents - was deemed a steep but fair deal.

Now, we're told, as those co-sleeping kids grow into large, gangly collections of limbs, they still insist upon invading their parents' beds nightly. And parental defenses appear inadequate: buying fancy Harry Potter-inspired 4-posters and Cinderella beds may delight the kids while the sun's up, but at night the family bed is the only hot spot in town.

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Q: I'm trying to get my girls to develop healthy eating habits, but one of them has a very strong sweet tooth and, I suspect, a genetic tendency toward a calorie-storing body type).

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Q: My daughter gets very worried and stressed about all sorts of things. I try telling her to calm down, but it doesn't help. How can I help her get more centered and calm when things aren't going her way?

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Q: How exactly do I make a breakfast smoothie that includes green leafy veggies. Do I put them straight into the blender with the other ingredients or juice them first? 

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Two important figures of the 20th century died recently: Gerald Ford and James Brown. In this issue of the FitFam.com Tip of the Week, I talk about how they thought about the past and future as they created their lives.

I also sneak in a line from a Bob Dylan song for no good reason. Enjoy! Keep Reading…

(This edition of the newsletter is the second part of the answer to the question below. The first part can be found here.)

Q: I want to get my family into much better health in 2007, but I'm overwhelmed at how unhealthy our lifestyle is. I don't know where to begin. How do I start?

A: Last week I talked about mindsets. Today we'll cover three specific strategies for improvement, each inspired by a movie about the New Year's holiday.

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Q: I want to get my family into much better health in 2007, but I'm overwhelmed at how unhealthy our lifestyle is. I don't know where to begin. How do I start?

A: When my son was learning to write, he loved composing letters to friends and family. I knew what he was up to because he always began the same way, by asking me, "How do you spell 'dear'?"

When I was distracted, I'd reply, "D-E-A-R."

He'd love up at my in frustration, not having begun to print the letters, awash in confusion. "Yeah, only what comes FIRST?"

When parents come to me looking to improve their own fitness and health, as well as that of their children, my urge is to go on and on about plant-based nutrition, about joyful movement, about deep awareness and relaxation. I want to load them up with recipes, with workouts, with meditation CDS, with coaching - oh my gosh, my professional life is all about self-restraint. I have to relax myself and remember my son's dictum: "Yeah, only what comes FIRST?"

So, as we approach the season of reflection and resolution, I'd like to provide three mindsets for getting started on a path of personal and family fitness for 2007.  Next week, I'll talk about specific strategies, and how to create an action plan to create your own Fit Family.

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