Q: I want to get my family into much better health in 2007, but I'm overwhelmed at how unhealthy our lifestyle is. I don't know where to begin. How do I start?

A: When my son was learning to write, he loved composing letters to friends and family. I knew what he was up to because he always began the same way, by asking me, "How do you spell 'dear'?"

When I was distracted, I'd reply, "D-E-A-R."

He'd love up at my in frustration, not having begun to print the letters, awash in confusion. "Yeah, only what comes FIRST?"

When parents come to me looking to improve their own fitness and health, as well as that of their children, my urge is to go on and on about plant-based nutrition, about joyful movement, about deep awareness and relaxation. I want to load them up with recipes, with workouts, with meditation CDS, with coaching - oh my gosh, my professional life is all about self-restraint. I have to relax myself and remember my son's dictum: "Yeah, only what comes FIRST?"

So, as we approach the season of reflection and resolution, I'd like to provide three mindsets for getting started on a path of personal and family fitness for 2007.  Next week, I'll talk about specific strategies, and how to create an action plan to create your own Fit Family.

1. Replace or Transition (ROT)

A lot of people make a New Year's Resolution to start working out. They say, "I'm going to join a gym, and I'll go three times a week - on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings." The first week, they get up an hour and a half earlier than usual and work out like the dickens. The second week, they get home late from a Tuesday meeting, and can't bring themselves to get out of bed at 5:30am on Wednesday. The third week, they sneak in a quick guilt workout on Saturday late morning. After two months, the only thing going to the gym is their monthly credit card payment.

The problem here is obvious in hindsight: Our eager beaver didn't have an extra 4.5 hours a week to spend. That chunk of time had to come out of work, or family, or alone time, or sleep (most likely).

If you want to add an activity to your schedule, you have to find the time by dropping something else. If you currently play Halo 3 on your XBox 9 hours a day, you've got some very low-hanging time fruit. But if you have a demanding job, a family, and some civic involvement, good luck!

The trick is to replace a low-movement activity with a higher-movement one that accomplishes the same thing. For example, can you sell your riding mower and get a muscle-powered push mower? Sure, it'll take you longer to mow the lawn, but not that much longer. And now you're adding the benefit of exercise, lower cost of maintenance, and less air and noise pollution.

Are there weekly errands that you could do on foot, or on a bike, instead of driving? Can you dance during TV commercials? Play with your kids on the playground, instead of reading the paper while sitting on a bench?

Or say you want to eat better. Here, replacement is obvious. But don't replace an ice cream sundae with a green salad. That's not sustainable. Replace the sundae with a high-quality dessert that gives you the same (or close to the same) pleasure for almost none of the cost in health and weight.

Or, if you want to start a daily meditation/relaxation practice. Don't start with 20 minutes in the morning and evening. Start by paying attention to your breathing as you clear the table after a meal. As you brush your teeth. When the phone rings. Embed relaxation effortlessly into your current routine before turning that routine on its head.

And take it slowly. You have your whole life to improve - don't sabotage your progress by trying to take shortcuts to perfection. Replace choices that give you low-quality outputs with higher-quality ones. Give your body a chance to notice the difference, and it will take your side, instead of fighting your "willpower."

2. Find a Leader to Model (FLM)

Do you know what a nutritionally excellent refrigerator looks like? A plant-based pantry? A healthy salad dressing?

Until you see it, and experience it, and try it, you're just a the level of theory. And the level of theory is the level of doubt and faith, not certainty. When you've stemmed and steamed kale, and eaten it steaming with a ginger garlic sesame dressing, with a side of steamed sweet potato and brown rice, you have a grounding in the practice of healthy food preparation and eating.

You can get theory from a book or a website. You can try it yourself, and gradually by trial and error gain the skills and confidence you need. But by far the quickest and most effective and most supportive way to improve your lifestyle is to find a leader. Someone who's been where you've been, and is now where you want to be.

The apprenticeship model is largely dead in the business world, but for lifestyle education, it's unbeatable.

A leader will also help you figure out what do to next. And when you're modeling concrete actions - a morning workout, rather than a vague "healthy lifestyle," you can make significant changes without even realizing that they are part of a bigger, slower, seismic shift.

A leader can also bolster your resolve when you feel weak and unsure. Better yet, find a leader with a community, and join that community. I've heard that your annual earnings are likely to be the average of the earnings of the five people you spend the most time with. Similarly, your family's fitness and health will be limited or supported by the folks you hang out with.  Choose carefully.

3. Anticipate Obstacles (AO)

There has never been a problem-free path from a disease-causing to a health-promoting lifestyle. There are dozens of reasons we as a society eat junk, feed our minds with junk, and sit passively for our entertainment. Those reasons aren't going away just because you want to change your family's habits. It's easier to fill our kids with unhealthy, cheap, tasty and convenient poisons than to cook healthy things from scratch - at first. It's easier to get popcorn at the movies than a ripe peach. It's easier to watch professional athletes exercise on ESPN than to get out there and run around ourselves.

Your 2007 Healthy Game Plan needs to include an acknowledgment of the likely obstances you're going to face. Going out to dinner? Think about what you can order from that restaurant, so you're not sitting there with everyone looking at you and the waiter rolling his eyes in impatience. That's a recipe for falling back on the house special,  "Triple-Fried Calamari on Sour Cream with a Salt Lick."

What if the weather is bad on the day you plan your run? What's your backup plan?

How will you recover from a crazy week of no exercise and bad food choices? If you don't expect it, you're in danger of calling that "falling off the wagon" and throwing in the towel and mixing metaphors in the bargain. If you anticipate the possibility, you can rebound stronger.

So, let's put the three acronyms together to form a rock-solid plan for 2007: ROTFLMAO.

Oh, D-E-A-R!

Happy New Year!

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