1. Choose a bunch of things to put on skewers.

 We opted for the following:

• cherry tomatoes
• yellow squash
• zucchini
• baby bella mushrooms
• tofu cubes
• pineapple
• red onion

On a kabob, you want everything to be more or less the same size. The size of the cherry tomatoes determined how we cut everything else.  Here is a photo comparison of the tomatoes with a box of tofu:

Cherry Tomatoes - The Benchmark for Kabob Chunk Size

2. Start preparing the item that takes the longest.

In this case, it was the tofu, which needed to marinate all day. I procrastinated until that morning to shop, otherwise I would have marinated the tofu for anywhere from 24-72 hours.

3. Mix the tofu marinade

Here’s everything we used for the tofu, in an artful “still life.” Feel free to download and draw this montage if you like.

Tofu and Friends

Olive oil, Braggs liquid aminos (healthier soy sauce, although to be honest I’m not really sure of the difference), and garlic powder. Mix together equal amounts of the liquid ingredients, add the powder until you feel like you’ve added too much, then add a little more. Whisk together in a bowl.

Olive Oil, Braggs and Garlic Powder Marinade

4: Open and cut the tofu.

For the purposes of this tutorial I’m going to assume you’ve never opened a box of tofu in your life. If you’re a tofu pro, feel free to skip ahead (although the cinematographic quality of the following photos is worth a look).

This tofu is packed in water. Make your first cut at the edge of the box, so you don’t cut the tofu that you’re about to cut (hmmm…). Then drain the water over a sink, thirsty plant, or whining child:

How to Liberate Tofu

Cut the tofu in half or thirds horizontally.

The First Tofu Cut

Turn the tofu onto the “stable” side and continue cutting. Here I’m going to make 24 cubes from a single tofu block: 2 x 3 x 4

First Block of Tofu - Cubes are Too Big!

It turned out to be much too large, so I saved this block for another recipe and started over. Next block was 3 x 4 x 5, for a total of 60 chunks. They were roughly the size of the cherry tomatoes. I ended up using the top and bottom layers for the skewers, since they have a slightly thicker skin and held on to the sticks better.

Here are the smaller tofu blocks marinating:

Tofu is Always Happiest When Marinating

5. Cut up the other vegetables.

Sorry, no photos here, we were in a rush to get the kabobs finished in time to have “grill time” on the community gas grill.

6. Assemble the kabobs

I bought a pack of bamboo skewers, 100 for under two bucks.

Here’s my wife Mia being a sport and pitching in after witnessing me stab myself several times in the thumb with a bamboo skewer:

Artist at Work

Here’s Elan posing un-selfconsciously with a raw kabob:

Statue of Luau Kabob

And here’s the tray, ready for grilling:

Ready for the Grill

7. Make the maple-lime glaze

Stef adapted this recipe from a cookbook, to which I’ll give credit when I speak to her again. I’ll give you the “dinner for 4” version (makes about a quarter cup), not the “community of 40” batch I made.

• 1 T. lime juice plus zest of 1 lime
• 2 T. maple syrup
• 2 T. earth balance spread, melted 
• salt and pepper to taste

Whisk all ingredients together. You'll need to whisk every so often to keep the Earth Balance from separating.

By the way, lime zest is the outer green peel of the lime. Get it off by using a grater with small holes, and stop when you reach the white "pith."
 

8. Paint the kabobs with the glaze

I used a food-grade nylon paintbrush from Home Depot. It was food grade because it didn’t have any obvious paint or paint thinner on it. If you plan on grilling a lot, you might want to invest in a real kitchen brush, which is probably made in the same factory but costs five times as much.

Glaze the kabobs liberally before grilling, and then again as you grill them.

9. Grill the kabobs

The trick is to grill them until the longest-to-cook chunk is just cooked and nothing else is cinders. My 12-year-old neighbor Tate offered to do the job, and when he bragged that he had “never lost a hot dog,” I agreed. He did a fine job, turning each kabob after about 5 minutes on each side.

The kabobs were much beloved by the grateful plant-eaters in the community. And they made great leftovers, served on rice, for a couple of days after that.

The too-big chunks of tofu got enlisted in a wonderful appetizer from the Candle Café Cookbook, marinated in an intense cilantro puree, skewered, and served with spicy Thai peanut sauce.